dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
