The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
