remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my vag is so smooth its legendary
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
And then he peed in my hair
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