Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
