But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
