Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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