I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wear drunk well.
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