she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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