Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
