just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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