he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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