God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
