how can u be prego again
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
