Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
