the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
