Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
