Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
