i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
