I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Shame - the story of my life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
