I'm drive I can fine osifer
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
