Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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