I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
