i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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