saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
