oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
