the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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