I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
