i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
