There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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