Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
