yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
