I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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