No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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