four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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