That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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