hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
