The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just cropdusted the office
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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