he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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