South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
