wanna go halves on a baby?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
