This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
