butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
