sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
