I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
