Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
