its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
