Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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