Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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