Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
