I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
