I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
