I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize