Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
