I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
