jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Operation Purity has been aborted
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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