And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize