Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
bring money and cleavage
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize