she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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