From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
