I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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